UNCUT GEMS

Adam Sandler     Julia Fox     Idina Menzel     LaKeith Stanfield     Kevin Garnett     Eric Bogosian

     This film is billed primarily as a comedy—and that fits with the reputation of Adam Sandler, who stars here as a fast-talking salesman whose schemes leave destruction in their wake.  Although many have apparently found great humor in it, I didn’t laugh once, and in some scenes that brought laughter from the audience (a beaten man put naked into a car trunk), I found pathetic.  To each his/her own humor, I guess.

     Howard (with the apt last name of Ratner) is a jewel merchant in New York’s diamond district who doesn’t mind where his uncut gems come from.  He has managed to get a rock from Ethiopia that seems to have iridescent opals inside, which he thinks will fetch a million dollars at an auction.  When Kevin Garnett (renowned basketball player) visits his shop, Howard can’t resist bragging about it and showing it to Kevin, who is truly entranced, but Howard can’t sell it to him because it is scheduled for an auction.  He tells Kevin when and where the auction is, but Kevin sees the stone as a lucky charm, and insists on borrowing it for his game that evening until 9:00 the next morning when he will return it.  You can guess how that turns out.

     This transaction is especially dicey because Howard is a wheeler-dealer and gambler who can’t help himself from attending to both of those sides of his personality. The trouble beginning to loom up against him are debts he owes to unsavory characters, who are shaking him up (and more than that).  As soon as he thinks his wheeling-dealing is paying off, he gambles on his advances.  For instance, he is a baseball fan, and when he sees Garnett’s reaction to the stone, he places bets on that team winning with some money he got from pawning a “security” item.  

     The movie’s excitement derives from Howard’s bets and his attempts to evade debt collectors.  Part of the time, we’re pulled into it by watching Kevin’s basketball games; and part of the time we’re witnessing Howard’s excruciating, painful struggles with collectors advancing on him every time he makes a turn.

     Inserted into the drama (for reasons I question) are pictures of Howard’s colonscopy and family Jewish rituals, which are more forgivable, given his heritage. Yes, Howard has a family, and we see gratuitous scenes of him with his wife and children; but he also has mistress Julia (Fox) ensconced in an apartment.  We see scenes of that relationship as well.  But whatever his relationships—family, mistress, goons—Howard is the same scam artist trying to con all of them, none of whom believes him, at least not for long.

     Uncut Gems’ biggest failing is that it is not about anything really.  That is, the moral of the story is…?  Please fill in the blanks for me.  Also working against it are the incessant yelling, haggling, f-you sequences, which never come to an end.

     Adam Sandler plays his stock character well as always.  The only other actor who stood out is Kevin Garnett, whose demeanor and facial expressiveness may portend a second career for him.  

Uncut Gems appeals to the taste of a few, but is sorely lacking in any substantive meaning.

Grade:  D                                    By Donna R. Copeland

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 3: SUMMER VACATION

Voices of:  Mel Brooks     Adam Sandler     Selena Gomez     Andy Samberg     Kathryn Hahn
Fran Drescher     Steve Buscemi     David Spade     
Keegan-Michael Key     Chris Parnell     Molly Shannon

     For a little background information, Dracula (Sandler) is a widower with a grown-up daughter called Mavis (Gomez) who has decided they both need some R&R and more family time.  So for a surprise, she has arranged for all of them to go on a trip, without telling them it will be a cruise—which Drac would never agree to beforehand. Their party will consist of Mavis’ human husband Johnny (Samberg), and their child Dennis (Asher Blinkoff)—along with a trail of friends:  Wayne (Buscemi), Griffin (Spade), Frank (James), and others.  

     They go on a harrowing plane trip, and are dropped off in the Bermuda Triangle (a place where only the adults will sense the danger), where they board the ship, the Legacy.  (The name is something of a pun in that Drac and the Van Helsing families have been archenemies for generations, and both have an interest in continuing their legacy.)  Drac has had a lot of anxiety about the trip, and Mavis has wisely kept the cruise as a surprise. Now, it’s all she can do to convince him to board the ship for the sake of the family.

     Drac goes into a funk because he hates being on a boat.  In his despair, he has given up on having the “zing”, thinking one can only experience that once in a lifetime, and he had that with his wife. So, of course, much to his surprise, when the captain of the ship, Ericka (Gomez), appears, his heart goes thumpedy-thump, and he gets the zing.

     The thrills and chills of the story will stem from Erica’s heritage:  Her great grandfather is a Van Helsing, and he is on board the ship and counting on her to use the stowed away “instrument of destruction” to do away with Drac.  From what her ancestors have told her, Erika is already chomping away at the bit to do away with him, is delighted when she sees he is attracted to her, and begins to plot his demise.  But Van Helsing instructs her to wait until she can use the special instrument. She proceeds anyway to try to do him in, but neither she nor her great grandfather have anticipated the power of the zing.

     Sony Pictures has created an impressive production design and animation with special effects, and there is a lot of cartoon-like action throughout the film, which will please many viewers.  I thought it odd, though, that for a children’s movie, the thrust of the story would be about love, murder, and generational grudges—more adult-type of subjects.  It does end with a positive message about acceptance of differences and the unity that should exist among all living beings on earth—whether human, animal, monster, or whatever.  And this is done cleverly with music from three songs (“Good Vibrations”, Don’t Worry; Be Happy”, and “Hey Macarena”).  Everyone should have an opportunity to experience the zing.

Summer vacation can mean many things, including one with monsters aboard a cruise ship.

Grade:  C                                    By Donna R. Copeland

THE MEYEROWITZ STORIES

Adam Sandler   Ben Stiller   Dustin Hoffman   Emma Thompson   Candice Bergen

Rebecca Miller   Judd Hirsch   Grace van Patten   Elizabeth Marvel   Adam Driver

     If you want to see a dysfunctional family in action, see the Meyerowitz Stories on Netflix.  Much—especially in the beginning—is painful to watch and listen to, but as time goes on, and genuine caring and concern are mixed in with the rancor and bickering, it finally gets to laugh-out-loud funny.  Noah Baumbach, writer/director knows much of what he speaks in terms of the psychology of family interactions.  It’s dramatized, of course, and there are some scenes I wish he had toned down a bit to make the film more tolerable and plausible, but for the most part it’s a rich store of family dynamics.  Sibling rivalry and its sources (absence of parents, favoritism of parents), the neediness of people who have grown up missing nurturance and acceptance they craved as children, and the effects of divorce and remarriage on children and spouses live on in people’s adult lives—as clearly demonstrated by the film.

    Harold Meyerowitz (Hoffman), the patriarch of this clan, is obsessed with his art to the exclusion of almost everything else.  He seems to have been a successful teacher, but the value of his art productions is not clear.  Harold’s obsession with his art and his place in the art world extends to his interest in his favorite son Matthew (Stiller), whom he sees as being a contributor to his art, despite the fact that his son Danny (Sandler) used to be a musician and in adulthood has been much more involved in his father’s life.  His daughter Jean (Marvel) represents the child almost completely forgotten by everyone, except she has managed to maintain a texting relationship with Matthew and Danny’s daughter Eliza (van Patten). 

   There are hit and miss visits among family members, none of which appear to be satisfying to anyone, then Harold becomes seriously ill, which serves as a catalyst in bringing out more pointed and emotionally productive encounters.  These inform us—and them—about the sources of their various discomforts and resentments and significant events they have endured, giving us a good picture of how the family members came to be who they are today.

    Baumbach’s direction is solid, and Randy Newman’s music and piano accompaniment throughout give a lilt to the drama and comedy onscreen.  Similarly, Robbie Ryan’s cinematography highlights, focuses, and shifts with the action, giving us the sense of being inside the picture observing a real family. 

     Both Adam Sandler and Ben Stiller are a question marks for me before I see one of their movies.  Adam was great in his work on “Saturday Night Live” and in Spanglish, but That’s My Boy, Big Daddy, and The Waterboy are insipid and show none of his acting skills.  Similarly, Ben Stiller has been exemplary in Brad’s Status and The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, after bombs Zoolander 2 and Along Came Polly.  Here, with the good script and the direction of Baumbach, they are at their best, and supported by a number of good actors (Hoffman, Thompson, van Patten, and Marvel, with cameos by Bergen, Miller, and Driver). 

Picture of a dysfunctional family that comes together (mostly) during the patriarch’s life-threatening illness.

Grade:  B+                                    By Donna R. Copeland